i know i haven't said this yet, but i still live at home with my mom. for a couple of reasons; i don't have the money to live on my own & that she's disabled. i help with the things she can't do. so win/win. but shit just keep getting harder and harder for my mom...and for me. she has to take a lot of meds and when a person does this, you have to be careful of a few things: how she reacts to the meds, that they don't react wrongly to each other, and of course any side-effects.
its the side-effects that are killing me.
earlier this year she was hospitalized and it turns out it was because of one the meds. we (i) had to reason to believe it could be the meds cuz she had been taking this particular one for at least a year before the symptoms started. for about a year (maybe a year and a half) i'd been worried she had Alzheimers or the like. her mother had died of it, so it wasn't that hard for me to believe that she might be getting it too.
i can't begin to tell you how fucking scared i was!
as i was saying she was hospitalized. the doctor treating her figured out which med might be the culprit. and indeed that was the villian of my nightmares. i had my mother back. relief!
since then, she's been fine...mentally. but things with my mom's health is never easy. they just get worse, never better. there is always something new thats wrong with her. so that means new meds. which she got prescribed to her just a couple of months ago. and my nightmares came back! i again didn't think of the meds right away...i just thought i was losing my mother. the most important person in my world. always has been. for all the shit and emotional turmoil i go through with her; i have NO FUCKING idea of what i'd do without her!! but after thinking it through, i figured out that it started after she started taking the new med. talk about a big fuckin' relief!!
so she has an appointment today with her doctor and i make sure i'm there and go into the room with her. which i normally never do. she of course is not thinking about why i'm there. once the doctor comes in i tell him my worries. and it turns out that this is a common side-effect of anti-inflammatories. well, shit! i really wished someone, mostly the asshole for the hospital, would have told me that sooner. infammatory problems is a common problem for my mom. so yeah, that info would have been helpful. so now, we stop the using the new medication and wait to see if thats the problem. which i think it is; but until then i have the joy of dealing with the side-effects. even though i know its temporary, it is still heart wrenching to see my mom acting like that. she is one of the smartest people i know, so seeing her see things that are not there or from the past is too friggin' painful.
i'm sorry for the long rant, but i have no one else. not really. so this is me sharing my fears with whoever might come across my blog. rant over, take care & be good.
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